A passage in which I admit how stubborn I am by generalizing this feeling I am having with the fact that every artist feels this way at some point.

An interesting facet of an artists life is getting into the groove of examining their experiences with art -- being able to put themselves outside of their own shoes to see exactly what they're doing, and alter it accordingly. Unfortunately, there comes a time when the exact opposite happens. Not only is there absolutely no motivation to even think about one's skills and projects, but the passion and spark is just absolutely dead. This isn't to say that their being an artist is thrown down the drain -- absolutely not. I'd rather call it 'emotional withdrawal'.

Since I do write this blog, the easiest way to explain this is through my eyes. In the past week or two, I have experienced a shift in my thought process regarding school and my artwork. Rather than work on assignments that I should finish soon, or study for tests that are coming up, I find myself becoming stubborn and striving for the absolute opposite. To add to it, I've become inwardly solemn, not very excited about much, and agitated with everyone and everything. Small instances turn into gigantic annoyances, and I close myself off to the world, away from everything and every responsibility.

It's a mechanism I am highly aware of, for I have been doing it for years. Yet, being aware of it is just that -- awareness. I will calmly state what appear to be my flaws, yet I don't do much to fix them. It's a complicated thing. Is it possible that one could be so confident in stating their flaws that they sound somewhat proud of them? Almost as if to insist that they don't want to change themselves. At least, that's how I see it with myself.

It's a sad thing when distractions take over your mind, because you get absolutely nothing done. But why? Why be so stubborn? Why insist on not doing any work?

Will it make the assignment go away? Will it possibly extend the due date? Will the project do itself?

It could be something entirely different. When in these moods, my mind snaps and says 'You can't tell me what to do, I tell me what to do, and if you don't like it, then you will have to get used to it.' Of course, such an attitude is poor while attending school.

In the end, it's apparent that this has nothing to do with art, but myself. I'm stubborn in rebelling to do my schoolwork because I want to do my own work -- and I cannot do my own work for school, for then my mind will classify it solely as 'schoolwork'. If only I could make this an art project.